i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
