I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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