He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
whose parrot is this?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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