You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
