I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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