38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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