Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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