My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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