pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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