she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
