i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
