and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
