non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
the raccoons are back...
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