You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
