shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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