OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
