people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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