Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
