Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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