Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
