Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
