No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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