I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
