dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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