Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
