Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize