is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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