The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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