i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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