UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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