I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
