the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
