and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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