I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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