I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize