Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
