operation harelip BJ is a go
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
