Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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