I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
