Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
