Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
