She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
