I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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