I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
