absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
