Sponge bath it is.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
