nut hugger
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
