Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i think i just lost a toe
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
