so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
