I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
