Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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