Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
