He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize