Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
