You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You can't just leave with hair like that
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
