Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I know her cup size but not her name....
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