Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
