jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
