i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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