oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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