he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
