So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
