So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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