Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
