sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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